desperate prayer

God,

I wish you would take all the fear you gave me back.

It’s ruining everything again.

I wish that the love you gave me wasn’t tinged with it.

That it hadn’t gotten into me again

like colors in the wash-

 

I wish that you could help me remember

that I am a good man, and that

I am not alone, that all the bad

things come from inside our heads.

 

God, I am still scared and shaky

because of chemicals in my brain.

But more than and of that I want you to

make me strong, so that if she

needs her space, I can give it to her.

So that at least one of us can be happy.

 

Sam

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